You are not alone.

I just read the blog of one of my closest friends. A close friend of more than a decade. The only person who likes the same movies and books as me! I feel so much in me that I have to blog this tonight.

I totally agree with what she said. I feel that I am getting OLD too. Oh well, people love to tell me that I am a November baby so I have no right to feel old. That doesn't help. Haha. The feeling of getting old is like awaken from a dream. All of a sudden, you feel that a lot of things are not so important anymore and things that seem minute in the past became important. When you look back, all the setbacks or unhappy events that you used to tear and ache for have blurred. Or maybe you cannot even remember them clearly now. I think it's a good thing. It is a good thing to just look back and laugh. I remember very clearly how Mrs Richard held me tight during my lowest peak in life and told me this - "One day when you look back, these are just part and parcel of life". That very moment, I promised to myself that I would keep her words in my heart forever. Yes, and all these words hit me hard now. In a good way.

To me, getting old means getting strong. Strong in terms of financially, physically and definitely emotionally. I always think that I am emotionally strong (I still do now) and I remember talking to this friend about it too. She is one strong lady too. She loves what she likes. She speaks her mind. She let her crush know that she likes him (I really salute her for this). But lately she realises that maybe she is not what she thinks she is. Maybe she is not that strong right from the start. I just wanna tell you that we are not superman. Even superman has his weakest link. We are very similar in the sense that we are very protective of ourselves. We will not let anything or anyone crosses the 'safety line'. This has led to someone who always got fed up with me because I am being too rational. Being defensive is weary. Sometimes when I got so tired of everything, I just feel like leaving and throwing everything behind or just break down and cry for all I want. I don't know if you do feel the same way. But there are still a lot of friends who still care. When one gets older, you will start to appreciate the beauty of friendships. Ha. So lao peng you, we still have each other.

I think when we feel tired, we will long for a special someone. Someone to share your life with. Someone to love and appreciate for who you are. A lot of people swear that they prefer to stay single - no string attached. Commitment scares them like hell and marriage is a big taboo. Sometimes I really wonder do they really think so deep down in their hearts.

One last thing, I think there is nothing to be ashamed of to admit that you long for a someone. You are not wonderwoman or chairman of some feminist activist group. Heck it.

Anyway boredom can make a person very vulnerable to the extent that you find yourself thinking too much. That's why I always say I rather to have tons of work to do than slack and be bored. Life will get better when the projects are coming. Hang in there!!